I Need you Now

My friend, I need you know-please take me by the hand.

Stand by me in my hour of need, take time to understand.

Take my hand, dear friend and lead me from this place.

Chase away my doubts and fears, wipe the tears

from off my face.

Friend, I cannot stand alone.

I need your hand to hold, the warmth of your

gentle touch. In my world that's grown so cold.

Please be a friend to me and hold me day by day.

Because with your loving hand in mine, I know

we'll find the way.

Moving Forward

For the last few months I have been wrestling with a very hard decision as to whether or not to give away all of Joseph's baby clothes and I have tossed and turned with this decision for far to long so the other day I finally made up my mind to give them away. What took so long for me to make the decision was that a huge part of me felt like if I gave away his clothes that I would be closing the door on having more children.

I know that is not really the case and that it will happen if and when it is supposed to but it has been five years now since I was pregnant and not a month goes by that my arms don't long to hold another sweet baby in my arms.The time has come for me to move forward and stop dwelling on what I want and to appreciate what I have. I feel very blessed that I have my wonderful son and wouldn't trade having him in my life for anything, I just wish that my heart didn't ache so much.

While I was going through my son's baby clothes this week and laying them out for my friends it took all I had not to break down and cry. It felt like I was giving a piece of me and my memories away with them. It was hard to look at a sweater or an outfit without the memories flooding back. To help ease the pain I gave all of his baby baby clothes to a very good friend of mine that really needed them.

It made me feel good to know that I was helping someone who had a need, but to also know that I was going to be able to help out two more of my friends. As I have watched my friends load their bags and leave, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I know it is because I am helping them all out and that they all really appreciate it.

It is like the old saying that "When God closes a window, he opens a door."

In The Begining

As the sun rises above the ocean, the dew glimmers off the trees. In multitudes like the stars in the sky.

The reflection of the light is like a distorted circus mirror.

The wind russels through the trees and the dew falls from the leaves like shards of a broken icicle.

The new day dawns and life awakens like a child rising from his mid day nap.

The dawn heralds a day of new promise.

A Good Start

Well we are now about three months into our new year and I am happy to report that I am doing a good job of sticking to the goals that I made for myself. Every year I make goals and then when I don't stick with them I feel really guilty about it.This year I set more realistic goals for myself and it has been easier for me to stick with and that makes me feel great about myself.

It feels so nice to be able to look at my list and check it off so to speak. It is incentive for me to keep going and hopefully accomplish all my goals for this year before it is over.

A New Year

So every year when this time come around I really truly dread it and it is because everyone is making New Years resolutions (it's not a bad thing) but every year I find myself doing the same thing and then when I don't follow through I feel even worse. So this year I decided that I would do a different kind of New Years resolutions and they are:

1. Work on being a more patient mother

2. Focus more on the positive things in life

3. Be a cheerier wife and set better examples

4. Make a quilt

5. Learn a new talent

6. Be a better friend to all

7. Try something new

8. Keep a journal for more then a few days

9. Make homemade Christmas presents for some family members

10. Take better care of myself (A more relaxed me=a better wife/mother)

I hope that you all may have a wonderful 2010 and that it may be filled with lots of joyous moments and happy times. Happy New Year!!

I Really Lived

"I Really Lived"

By: Sister Marjorie Hinckley

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

Friday's Fix-Up

This week's fix-up isn't so much a fix-up, it is more of a cleaning out and relaxing the soul. If have been noticing in my kitchen lately that all of my cupboards seem to be overflowing with junk and have so much stuff crammed in there that I have no idea what I actually have. So this week I started with my spices and discovered that I had multiple bottles of the same spice and that I had other things that were old and expired that really should have been thrown away years ago, but I finally did it this week and I feel so much better. I was able to organize it and now I know exactly what I have and where it is. Whoo Hoo!

Before

After